We come to this planet and observe the people around us. We realize that they are busy and have jobs. The notion of having a job is instilled into our mind from an early age as to be an astronaut, a police officer or a doctor maybe one day. Then, the school years are at the door, our parents drop us to school and leave to work. We encounter jobs in language & history lessons. Mission accomplished 🙂 the system has reached our inner mind telling us that we’ve got to have something. Something the system wants.
We begin to research to find what fits us. We decide to be lawyers, doctors, engineers and so forth before getting to know who we really are. We hear people around us talk about successful people who have certain jobs with great payments which makes it inevitable to think “Oh, If become like him/her, I’d be happy & rich!” We begin to think to be like others. We get fired up by these imaginary thoughts and may tell our parents & friends about them. As for me, I didn’t tell my parents by the way 🙂 they decided for me LOL :)) My dad wanted me to be a doctor as my biology lessons were excellent, my mom, wanted me to be a computer engineer as she is a math teacher, taught me math and observed me playing Atari, family video games and SEGA :))
Are you one too?
What about ME? I wasn’t sure about what job I should take until my math teacher in middle school asked us as a class about what we wanted to be in the future when it was my turn I said: “Medicine!”. “Medicine” sounded awesome at that moment, even some students looked surprised at me!
As a teenager, I didn’t know what it takes to be so. I didn’t have anyone in my life to guide me about what job to take, It seemed like people knew what they wanted but that wasn’t the case for me. I felt so confused. I didn’t know that most people around me didn’t know what they want or even who they were.
Something wasn’t right as everything in my experience was without contemplation about my future. I did though contemplated what I wanted in my life in terms of house and possessions but a JOB?! No!!! My point is that we have no ground rules in life about goal-setting even their importance and when you do some digging in libraries and the Internet you will find articles on how to do goal settings. If you are lucky you will encounter goal-setting optional courses at high school or university.
Generally speaking the goal settings I read on the web, magazines, some self-help books were helpful to some extent, they provide you with some insights about their importance but no major shift in someone’s life. The kind of goal settings I have seen so far guides you to navigate through your job, mainly build a career or climbing the corporate ladder to level up your reputation and increase your income.
The danger of Goal Setting
I believe being introduced to goal-setting this way is dangerous. Many of us may not know our purpose in life. We come to a loud world telling us to go to school to get a good job to live a decent life. This idea itself brings the hibbie jibbies and drives forward human survival instincts. People settle for less and miss opportunities. Goal setting needs perseverance and modification down the road. Goal setting needs guidance and training.
“If you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you’ll spend your life completely wasting your time. You’ll be doing things you don’t like doing in order to go on living, that is to go on doing things you don’t like doing, which is stupid.”
Alan Watts
Goal-setting must satisfy your spirit. It should show you the path you wish to take in life which will bring utmost happiness, satisfaction, and abundance. The outcomes should be consistent. Your goals shouldn’t be defined by societal expectations, standards, and labels. I want you to throw these ideas away, on the other hand, goals should bring plenty of the best moments in your life. Your goal-setting must bring you the top, extreme feeling at the end of an experience that you thrive to have in your life. A feeling of joy. I don’t believe that being a CEO of a renowned company will bring you complete satisfaction all your life! It does though make you feel the sense of success and achievement but doesn’t guarantee happiness or fulfillment all way long.
Choose challenging & scary goals
Focus on the end feeling of a goal you want to achieve as it has to excite you and should be tough or rather scary. An exciting goal speaks to your soul but not others and scary means that you will step out unlike others and push your limits which will give birth to a new you.
Here are some examples:
- Going to Fiji Islands with my wife & children, observing the beauty of the place and seeing how my wife & kids in awe.
- Driving a Mercedes Mclaren before a F1 race in Singapore with my son and feeling the amazing excitement on my son’s face as he loves racing cars.
- Seeing my son first steps to walk after a long wait as he was determined not to walk but crawl and then when it was his time to walk my wife held him by his arms for the 1000’s time and walked him faster, left him to walk by himself and observing his shock, excitement and extreme happiness.
- Being on the top of Mount Kilimanjaro after a long walk and climb. Watching the Sun and the magnificent scenery of the area.
- Seeing my daughter’s extreme happiness because of her 3rd birthday and me at our house door carrying balloons, ornaments & birthday cake.
“A person with a plan that creates exquisite results is better than a person with one or none!”
M. Henry Fadl
I used to set monthly salary goals which made me triple the amount of work and take jobs or deals that I didn’t like but eventually made me money. I had to be involved with people’s politics and play roles. I had to accept their offers without enough thinking about end long term exquisite results. I did that to get to a higher position. Did I feel satisfied? No! It was extremely stressful. Common sense vanished and instead carried on to achieve them. I used to believe that a person with a plan is better than a person without one which is true however I forgot to add “A person with a plan the creates exquisite results is better than a person with one or none!” As you can see such goals have short outcomes. Such goal-settings are done to SECURE a position for others maybe or for you because no one has trained you to foresee results in the long run.
Wrong goal-setting can be a burden on people who achieved what they wanted in life. A person can have a successful business, flowing money, good titles however they may not happy and satisfied. But why?
That’s because they achieved their goal but without harnessing happiness, satisfaction, joy, wonderful relationships and fulfillment. You may think about having happiness later and that’s ok. Point is, why not have both now? Happiness and achievements.
What are the things that make your soul soar?
You should work on your end goal by applying some changes like putting the things that will move your spirit. Things that make your soul soar. Purposeful goals that will allow you to love your work, surround yourself with people you love and do things you dreamed of doing. Things that will uplift life & living on this planet.
Now I want you to imagine a business owner who has it all financially. A good growing company, excellent revenues, and a noticed reputation. On the other hand, the owner dreads his company & work, has stressing experiences, no time for travel and having quality time with his beloved ones. My former bosses were like that. They had all the money they wanted but they seemed spiritually miserable. I couldn’t feel their inner peace when I was around them. I thought It must be tough to be a business owner and it’s not fun! Little did I know that this was the norm.
When I read biographies of successful people like Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, Mozart, Lee Iacocca, Jack Welch & Elon Musk, and many more I realized that what I thought about leadership and fulfillment in life isn’t true. For instance, I found that Oprah Winfrey leads a happy & fulfilling life. She lives with joy, purpose and contributes to humanity. She enjoys both her work and life.
What is the point if your goal brings you success but no joy & fulfillment?
Time should fly by when you pursue your goals. Your goals can be hard to reach but you will know inertly that they are worth it because they will bring consistent joy, laughter & fulfillment. You will reach them with people you love, people who love & respect the cause of your mission. Goals that talk to your heart and soul will transform you & people around you to bring about an upgraded version of you and others.
I hope you benefit from this post. I look forward to hearing your comments, experiences & suggestions. Love you :)))